Ep 20 Sex and Infertility: Rediscovering Intimacy in the Journey

I thought as its nearly Valentines Day we should talk about something that often feels like a taboo subject in the world of infertility: sex!

For many of us, sex starts out as something intimate, exciting and joyful. But when you’re trying to conceive and struggling with infertility, it can take on a completely different tone. What once felt natural can begin to feel like a chore, a means to an end or even a source of stress.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Navigating the intersection of sex and infertility is a challenge so many couples face, but it’s not something we often talk about openly.

When Sex Becomes Scheduled

When you’re tracking ovulation and timing intercourse down to the hour, spontaneity tends to go out the window.  Suddenly, what used to feel romantic can feel more like an item on a checklist. The pressure to “perform” can weigh heavily on both partners, leading to frustration, resentment or even avoidance.

It’s ok to admit that this shift is hard. It’s also ok to acknowledge that infertility isn’t just affecting your ability to conceive - it’s impacting your relationship and your emotional connection.

Rebuilding Intimacy

Sex and intimacy are connected, but they aren’t the same thing. Sometimes, the best way to rekindle the spark is to step away from the baby making focus and rediscover intimacy in other ways.

Here are a few ideas:

• Spend time together outside the bedroom. Go on a date night, take a walk or share a hobby you both enjoy. Reconnecting emotionally can help rebuild the foundation for physical intimacy.
• Take the pressure off. Give yourselves permission to enjoy sex without the focus on ovulation. Intimacy for the sake of connection, rather than conception, can help restore a sense of fun and closeness.
• Communicate openly. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling - whether it’s stress, sadness or frustration. Sometimes, just sharing those feelings can be a relief and help you feel more connected.
• Download a FREE guide.  Visit www.wendytaylorcoaching.co.uk/guide - this will help you to take care of yourself again and prioritise yourself.

Addressing Emotional Blocks

Infertility brings a mix of emotions that can influence your desire for intimacy. Grief, anger and fear are all valid feelings, but they can create walls between you and your partner. Consider seeking support through counselling, either individually or as a couple, to work through these emotions.

Seeking Professional Guidance

Sometimes, physical or emotional stress related to infertility can lead to sexual dysfunction. If you or your partner are experiencing pain, difficulty or loss of interest in sex, a healthcare provider or therapist specialising in sexual health can help. There’s no shame in seeking support, it’s a proactive step toward healing and reconnection.

It’s a Journey, Not a Race

Remember that infertility is a chapter in your story, not the whole book. Your relationship is more than the struggle to conceive and sex is more than a means to an end. It’s ok to grieve the changes you’ve experienced, but it’s also ok to seek joy, connection and intimacy in new ways.

Sex and infertility don’t have to remain in conflict. With patience, communication and support, it’s possible to rediscover the love and closeness that brought you together in the first place.

You’re not alone in this. Be gentle with yourself and your partner as you navigate this journey together.

With love and understanding

Wendy

PS:  Go check out our FREE guide "Boost your Fertility" - Packed with tips and hints to help your mind-body connection - www.wendytaylorcoaching.co.uk/guide